The Song That Made Me

January 13, 2020

 

 

There is a song I will always come back to.

 

After school, my senior year of high school, while smoking weed before a football game, I heard Let It Happen by Tame Impala for the first time.

 

I was already a fan after hearing several Lonerism tracks on my way to school.

 

We were sitting in his sparse bedroom, smoking bud out of my friends new bowl. Fuckin’ harmless. My two other buddies were there. One was getting ready to take action pictures of the nearing football game (he always smoked before), the other was with me, just hanging out.

 

We were enjoying ourselves. Then my friend played Let It Happen.

 

 

Since then, I’ve listened to it almost daily. It’s the only song that actually describes the process of diving into artistry. I don’t think if I would be a writer without this song.

 

Not that I need to explain it, but Let It Happen, is all about allowing what needs to happen. I don’t give a shit what line of work you’re in, who you are, what you listen to; you’re can understand it.

 

It’s plain as day, just as the song suggests in its long repetitive middle portion. Change is an extended process that requires relapses. Then, the synth tells you that some kind of growth, evolution, is happening. And you somehow understand.

 

Is this the secret truth? The bubble that erupts from nowhere within you? I heard this song 4 years ago and I still don’t know what I’m supposed to let happen. At certain stages it was an acid trip, self doubt during a basketball game, or maybe self doubt in general.

 

The one thing I know is consistent is the emotion of self doubt. I’ll call it that because it resides in a sliver of logic, but it’s mainly emotional. There is a feeling of fear every time I play a sport. I think it’s of myself not being good enough. And why is that? I don’t know. So what does it mean for you to be swept up by a whirlwind? By an ocean?

 

Truth? Just the worst truth makes no sense. Some will say it’s dependent on those you speak to, others say it’s according to science. What’s the truth when you’re being dragged into unconsciousness, regardless of a choice? I’m not sure. In the last 4 years, the song has pushed me to let go in an effort of ego death (which I can’t do) and social anxiety. Mainly social anxiety.

 

During high school, I was nervous talking to many people. I would stutter. I would hide. I would avoid.

 

I now understand the repetitive section. I understood it as a necessary part of change. A necessary part of being swept up by an ocean. The active side of change. That it doesn’t matter. It’s gonna change. 

 

In The Afternoon, by MGMT.

 

The song echoes the same message, in a different way. MGMT proposes that you’re gonna know. Whether it be death or purpose, relief of existence is going to be the best feeling ever.

 

I disagree. You will miss everything. You will miss how beautiful every moment is with everyone you know.

 

I think relief and letting it happen is falling in love with everything and everyone. But it’s like a bubble.

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